Chapters
0:26 Intro with Daniel
2:38 Start Interview – Who is Rachel Smets?
6:39 Why Rachel doesn’t have a podcast
7:19 What is a Clarity Coach?
8:30 How can we imagine a “Clarity Coach Session”?
11:50 Is English really Rachel’s first language?
13:00 Which languages has Rachel taught?
13:33 What does learning a language mean for Rachel?
14:28 What topics did Rachel cover in her lessons?
15:45 Conversation classes…
16:30 Which languages is Rachel fluent in?
16:55 TEDx Talk: Don’t compare yourself. “stop comparing”. Be the best of you,
18:54 Luck is a loser’s word!
21:51 Teaser/advertisement: The Vocab Man Podcast:
22:42 Rachel Smets is the Author of the book “Awaken Your Confidence”
29:49: Do you remember the very first interview you conducted for your book? Were you nervous?
31:48 Learning languages abroad…
32:55 The biggest obstacles when it comes to learn languages
34:18 Language learning tips
36:40 Rachel doesn’t use learning apps
38:25 Outro / Where can we find Rachel Smets online?
You might also like an older episode of My Fluent Podcast, in which I talk about not to campare yourself with others.
https://m.youtube.com/c/RachelSmets/videos
Links
FB GROUP Clarity & Confidence: https://www.facebook.com/groups/CreateClarity/
LINKEDIN: https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelsmets/
Get out of the crab bucket: https://youtu.be/T8w8HipXEIU
How to Quit your 9-5. Escape the rat race: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLOeCvFiCDr6xipelvHQo-iiQ0rTLiKEy6
Living Abroad Successfully: https://amzn.to/2B3z7EV /Awaken Your Confidence https://amzn.to/2RMCeey
Music:
Scott Holmes (Upbeat Party)
Upbeat Party by Scott Holmes Music is licensed under a Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International License.
If you liked this interview, you might also like episode 90 – the interview with Lena from Poland, nowadays living in the USA. She is an accent coach.
Transcript:
Life changes. And so can you, and I want to repeat that life changes and so can you
I don’t know if you know, but English is my third language. You know, English is definitely not my first.
It’s my third.
mean, it’s possible. really want your listeners to realize that if you want something, you can achieve it
Nice to have you back here on My Fluent Podcast, where we try to reach our goal to become fluent in any language. And by the way, my main focus is English. I am Daniel, the host of this show and in this episode, you are about to hear Rachel Smets, a very motivated language learner, frankly, I first thought her mother tongue was English, but I was mistaken.
So there are several reasons. why I’ve thought Rachel would be a perfect fit for this podcast. And I am going to tell you four of them, just listen to the interview and it will make sense . So, number one, I believe we need to have clarity when it comes to English learning or language learning in general, what do we want to reach?
We need to think it through and then make the most possible things to reach your goal or our goal. Basically just stick to your plan. Number two, we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others when it comes to our speaking skills, better compare yourself with your older EGO. And I struggle a lot with this, by the way.
Number three, even if you are an introvert, because you have to know that I consider myself an introvert. There’s no excuse. When it comes to learning the language. Rachel is an introvert and she’s a super communicator. She mastered many, many languages. She managed to move abroad many times and could integrate herself into the culture, immerse herself into the language.
And number four, Rachel is very passionate about many things and she is so determined about it. So I think we all could learn something from her. And now, without any further ado, let’s head to our interview. Oh, I almost forgot:if you want to read along while listening , head over to my YouTube channel, there will be English subtitles in it.
So I’m Rachel, Smets SMETS. I am a native Belgium, but I haven’t lived there for 20 years. I’ve been living abroad in many countries and now I’m sitting literally in the Netherlands but I’m usually traveling the world with. Now with the COVID it’s just a bit impossible. My background, Oh my gosh.
Where do I start? I guess I can start when I was, I’m gonna, I’m going to make it the nutshell version. Don’t worry. I’m not gonna make it too long for you guys. So , I started moving abroad when I was in my early twenties and I just had this. I dunno, I just wanted to experience it and I just didn’t want to live a life of living in the same town, the same, you know, my parents are like very, very conservative, like the same town, the same place, the same house, like all of their lives.
And I’m more like, “Oh no, I want to explore. Right. I want to explore to people that are cultures that are, you know”, and, like you, I mean, I know a lot of people won’t believe this, but I’m definitely an introvert and definitely shy. So, even if I’m a public speaker and doing TEDx and others and you know, all of these things, but I am, I am still an introvert. And I’m doing all of what I’m doing because I have a message to share. Right. And that’s where I focused on just like, when you’re doing your podcast, you have something to share, you want to reach people. And so that’s my mission as well. And so, yeah, other than that, I’ve been moving abroad, had different jobs.
I was in the corporate world on the corporate letter. I hated every minute of it. And so I was able to, I just, I had a dream, like I want to travel the world. I want to have the freedom freedom is the highest value for me. I want freedom to do what I want when I want, where I want. So I want, I want a laptop lifestyle.
I want to have my laptop being an entrepreneur and just do what I love and help people. So my big mission in life is just help people. And so I was in corporate stock and I just had this dream and I thought, you know what? If you can dream it, you can create it. And it’s. It’s not just a quote. It’s true.
If you can dream something, you can make it. If you can dream the person who dreamed the telephone created the telephone, the person who dreamed about the chair you’re sitting on, it’s been created because it starts from a dream. It starts from a thought. So anyway, long story short, I was able to, I quit my corporate and now I am traveling the world and I am doing what I love and it doesn’t happen overnight, but that’s exactly the steps that I’m teaching people now to take.
It’s to really achieve your dream. So, yeah, that’s me in a nutshell, but ask away, ask me
Yeah, that is a beautiful story. And I think also when it comes to learning a language we should dream our life, you know, we should, go for it and not being scared, talking and stuff. Like it happened with me because I didn’t talk that much, but we should always step out of our comfort zone,
I mean
I mean life starts outside of the comfort zone. And for me, like moving abroad, coming from a family who never travels and moves. I mean, yes, it was definitely out of my comfort zone, but that’s how I became who I am today. By always, always stepping out of my comfort zone, always pushing it. Because if you stay in your comfort bubble, I call it a bubble.
You just, you know, everything will stay the same and nothing will change. So if you want to change something, look, the thing is, what I say is like, Some people, they stay in the same job, the whole life, their whole life. And that’s fine if they like what they’re doing, that’s fine. If you like your little bubble and you’re happy with the same houses, same friends, the same people around you.
I’m happy for you, but if you want to change, you have to change. And the only way to change is to step out of your comfort level.
Yeah, exactly. And we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others.
Well, that’s why I did a TEDx talk. Literally don’t compare yourself, but be the best version of you. I can talk about that for hours. You don’t have to compare yourself. Yeah, no, not at all because,
that in a minute.
Okay.
Rachel, you are a YouTuber, you are a blogger well you are, you have, conducted several Ted talks. You are a cross cultural trainer. But why don’t you have a
podcast?
Uh, probably I should but yeah, YouTube is taking most of my time and I just, I’m dedicated to YouTube and I chose YouTube as my main platform to, you know, do my thing and to speak my truth and to inspire people and just going to stick to it. Podcasting. Yeah, I guess so, but it’s just. You know how much work it is and it’s just, no, I just I don’t want to overwhelm myself, so yeah, I speak to you too.
Yeah, it’s much wiser to stick to one media or two to have at least a focus on several things. So do you consider yourself a clarity coach?
Yes. Yes. I definitely consider myself, a clarity coach because that’s what I help people with. It’s the clarity. And it’s the clarity in clarity in who you are and who you want to become. And for a lot of people, they have a lot of ideas and they don’t know where to start, or they have no idea at all, what they want to do.
They know they want to change their life, but they sometimes are not sure how or what, and then I help them, you know, like, okay, figure it out, like figure out, like, who are you? What is it that you really want? And sometimes there was too many ideas and then I help them figure out, okay, what’s the best way forward.
I’m not saying you have to have one idea okay. Cause I’m a, multi-passionate like you saw, I have many things and I hated them. People are like, Oh, you have to choose one thing. No, you don’t, you know, you can do, you can do your podcast. You can have your jobs, you can have, you know, several things and several, you know, income streams.
And I think that’s that’s. but obviously it doesn’t have to be overwhelming. That’s again, why I choose? No, I don’t. I’m not ready for podcasts because I don’t want to overwhelm myself. I want to, it has to be fun. You know, you have to move. Put your energy into the things that, you know, you can put your energy into.
Okay. And how can we imagine these sessions? I mean, are these longterm related or are these a few sessions or,
no, definitely.
It depends on the person.
It does. I mean, sometimes people are like already achieving so many things and it just, they just lack like a little confidence boost or a little, you know, clarity here or there a little push. And then I’m saying like, well, you know why let’s just work together for two months and you’re good to go.
Right? I mean, sometimes people, they have already achieved a lot, so it’s not needed to go further. but if you really want to have a real long lasting change. You know that as well, you can’t just change overnight. You can’t just make something happen and shift your mindset. you know, within a few weeks it doesn’t happen like that.
on average, I work with people for six months sometimes, I have clients who stay with me for a year, but it’s really because I’m constantly with them. I’m a very committed coach. I don’t have. I don’t like to have a whole bunch of clients. I want to be very committed.
So my clients can always contact me 24 seven because it’s sometimes, we create, I’m a very action oriented results oriented coach who is like, okay, we have a call. These are your action steps. Because (cause) I want to see results. I don’t want to just. Talk talk, talk. I want you to have results for These is the actions
this is what you do. And then three days later, they’re like, Rachel, I don’t know. You know, I’m not so sure. And wait, this person said that and now I’m disappointed. And then I’m like, okay, let’s do this. Let’s do that. So I’m always, always available, always. Between calls between coaching calls. So, yeah, so on average, six months to really create a change because the people I typically help are in a job and they want to grow their side hustle or start from scratch, a new business.
So it’s really the transition from your job into starting that entrepreneur. And if you don’t do it the right way with the right steps, then either you get overwhelmed, you get burned out or you stay stuck. So, you know, I don’t want any of that.
did you, by any chance had a customer who wanted to become an English teacher or something related to language learning or teaching?
No. I have, let’s see, I have people who are the job who wants to be a career coach, a business coach, but not language coach. No, not language. Nope, no, no.
Okay. I see,
Yeah. Daniel. You’re welcome.
Yeah, well, in my case, I learned about different stories from people that I interviewed or that I came into contact with them, that they are about to become an English teacher and these people are non-native English speakers. So this is quite inspiring to me to hear something like that.
And I can imagine that you also learn about. Your success stories. I mean about your customers. It must be really beautiful to see them. Let’s say in three years, what they actually reached also thanks to you, or also because you supported them.
And it doesn’t have to be three years. I think in one year you can do, you know, change so much. And when you talk about language teaching, I was one, I was a language teaching and, um, Daniel, I don’t know if you know, but English is my third language. You know, English is definitely not my first.
It’s my third.
mean, it’s possible. That’s what I’m I
really want your listeners to realize that if you want something, you can achieve it. Okay. Um, it’s I mean, all of my YouTube is really about, you know, the motivation and inspiration, because I really come from a place where.
Like I said, I’m, you know, shy, conservative no changes, you know, straightforward you have to, you know, do a job and earn money and body blah. And I, I just changed completely. And so my dream was to be completely free and have the laptop lifestyle. So where did I start? Daniel is by teaching languages.
Because that’s like the easiest thing you can do to earn money online. Cause I was googling like, how do I earn money online? How do I learn online? You know, cause that’s what I wanted to do. And so I started tutoring languages in the evening and in the weekends that’s what I did.
And so, that was the easiest thing to earn money. So ask me the thing about that. I mean, I can it’s
And which languages have you taught?
teach.
of it was, let me think. I did a lot of French, some Dutch and some English, but a lot was French. Yeah. And here’s this again? Like I have no degree. Okay. I have no degree in language teaching.
I have no degree in, in. TSL or ETS or all of that? Nothing. It’s just, if you, again, like I’m passionate about it, I teach conversational languages. I’m not for me learning a language. It’s about making conversations with people. And I don’t care if you write a D or a T or E or w you know, I mean, yes, of course I know how to do it, but I’m just saying that’s not the priority, the priority to make a conversation because you know, when I was living abroad or when I’m traveling, I want to make conversations.
I want to ask my way around. I want to ask directions. I want to, you know, I want to talk to people. So the priority is conversation. And once you know how to have a little bit of a conversation, you will understand the grammars soo much easier. Whereas most schools are like, Oh, the grammar. And what happens is that when you’re stuck into grammar and the spelling, you’re so afraid to talk because you’re so afraid to make a mistake.
That’s what ha that’s what I saw all the time. And that’s what happened. That’s why I’m like, no, I want to, I just want to talk. I made like a ton of mistakes, but that’s how I learned.
Yeah, that makes absolutely sense. what topics do you go about or did you go about with your students?
Um, and I always, always, always adapted to my students. So, um, one was a lawyer. So it was about, you know, topics about, lawyer things and clients and whatever he was working on. Uh, it could be about really anything about a hobby about whatever. I want to make conversations with what my clients need.
Like is it to travel into us directions? is it for your work? One, had a relationship? She was in love with a Dutch guy. So she wanted to, you know, meet his family and talk Dutch. And so it was conversations, you know about , meeting family and just, you know, regular. It really depends.
I never earned a lot with it because these, these are the things that earn so little. If you go online to all these platforms and you know, it really, it was for me, a really a way into the online world in a way to, see if I could earn money online.
It was the proof that I could, but I got so many requests from students to teach them because I was I was putting myself in their shoes and talking about topics that were of their interests. Not of what I obligated to him to do, but really have their interests. And so that’s what they loved.
You know, it wasn’t like a obligated grammar or spelling or that kind of thing. It’s just really conversations that was helpful
And was it the way you learned your target languages? By taking conversation classes.
I never took classes. I never took classes. And the tips that I can, give for people to learn languages is, , is the way I did it was conversations with local people. So, you know, like I said,I moved abroad. I arrived in a new country and
I just talked to local people all the time and I made a ton of mistakes, but that’s how I learned.
And yes I had, of course the. A little book, of these basic language verbs and, and vocabulary because you have to know some vocabulary. So yes, I studied at home you know, basic. And then I went on and I talked to local people.
Yeah, that sounds great. And which are the languages that you are fluent.
I’m fluent in, um, well, Dutch, French, English, German, Spanish. I’m Italian. And I just came back from Portugal and I was doing pretty well. I was doing pretty well. People understood me because of the mix of every other language, but I wouldn’t dare to say I’m fluid, but I can make a conversation.
now let’s head to our next topic which is Ted talks because you conducted several Ted talks. And as I mentioned before, in my opinion, it is really crucial also to, not compare ourselves to others. And one Ted talk was called ” stop comparing”. Be the best of you, which I really loved because I, myself struggled a lot with that.
And I even made an episode out of it on episode 21 “don’t compare yourself.” And still sometimes I, I still compare myself automatically with others. I don’t know why
📍 Because you’re a with human being, we’re all human beings and it’s just natural. It’s a natural instinct. You know, we, It’s it’s a natural instinct to, you know you were born as an infant, you’re looking at your parents and you’re kind of imitating what they’re doing, because that’s how they teach you to behave and to, you know, eat and drink and all of that.
So it’s a natural instinct. And especially now these days with social media, you know, you scroll down social media and you see all these pictures of beautiful careers and beautiful holidays and pictures and bodies. And I don’t know what I mean, how can you not compare, right? I mean, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s.
It’s really, that’s why there’s so much damage if you want, you know, from the social media, if you’re not strong enough to realize, hold on a second, I’m scrolling down, but is not reality. This is not real life. Like if I post something on social media, I’m on social media all the time, because that’s my life, you know, it’s like, so.
And when I make videos, I’m not going to be in my pajamas. No, I mean, I make myself up and I, yeah. I mean, I, make it look good, but it’s, it’s not every day, every second, every minute that, everything, that life is rosy and shiny. Right. So if we school around social media, people are showing the best.
But it’s so important to remember, like, people are always showing their best, but they’re hiding their mess, but you know, everybody has good and bad days, everybody. So you can compare yourself of the outside image that they portray, but you don’t know everything to it. And it’s, I realized that, and that’s why I used to compare myself as well, you know, and then,
until I really realized that everyone has to put effort into what they achieve and that everyone has, good and less good days, and that everyone has struggles and everybody puts effort into it. And that there is no such thing as, Oh, you’re so lucky luck is a loser’s word. And I learned that from Gary V I was on, you know, Gary feed, you follow him.
I was on his, I
has podcast
as well, I think.
you should, you should really listen to him. He’s um, he’s, he’s amazing. And I was on his live show.
and so we were talking about luck and luck and luck and he’s like, luck is a loser’s word. And it is because there is no such thing as luck. I mean, yes. If you put in the effort, then obviously opportunities come to me as well.
Why? Because I’ve been putting in all the effort. Right. But the TEDx talk it doesn’t. Fall out from the sky. No, you know, it’s connections, it’s networking. It’s and then suddenly, yeah, somebody like, Hey, Rachel, there’s spot, you know,
am I lucky? No, I put in the effort. but yeah. So comparing yourself is you comparing yourself.
To the, you compare your inner cell because that’s what happens. Right? You compare your inner, your inner self image to the outside of somebody else. And that’s where there was, there was, it’s like comparing apples and oranges, right? It’s like, what are you doing here? You’re comparing the outside image, you know, picture, view, whatever, with your insight, confidence, self image, trust belief.
No, it just doesn’t make sense. So whenever, like you said, Daniel, you’re still doing it. But the difference now with you is that you are aware of that you are aware that you’re doing it. And once you are aware of it, you can say, stop, stop. Just stop it. And Hey, I am unique. I have my own gifts. I have my own talents and here I am doing this podcast the best way that I am, and you’re doing better than yesterday and better than last week.
And you’re bettering yourself all the time. So compare yourself to yourself. That’s all you need to do.
Yeah, exactly. And maybe I should get inspired by others
That’s what I say. Yeah.
and improving myself. So making it a positive thing instead of a negative
absolutely. Always turn it positive. And that’s the thing that I say my TEDx talk as well. It’s like, it’s okay to look to other people. Obviously I have my inspiration from others as well, so it’s okay to look at other people, but do it in the sense of. Inspiration and not of, Oh, they have that. And I don’t.
So I’m a nobody. No, they have that. So can I, here I am showing up, right. That
Yeah, absolutely.
📍 My Fluent Podcast is brought to you by the VOCA man So I urge you to check it out and I won’t take no for an answer guys.
Welcome back to the Vocab Man . I am Daniel Goodson. And guess what? Today we will be covering the phrase to take no for an answer. Rachel Daws Who authorized that? Get Crane down there right now, do not take no for an answer. Call Dr. Leman, tell him we’ll need our own assessment on the judge assessed by morning.
So check my other podcast out now and now let’s get back to the interview.
and you are also an author and I had to look at the book, awaken your confidence. So this was your first book and I’ve found that quite interesting you were on the podcast called American slacker podcast about a year ago. And there you, mentioned something like.
that you used to be very shy and that there was a time and you were not talking at all. So,
yeah.
and that self-confidence is something that can be learned. And the interesting thing is for me also, that. You conducted different interviews and you made a book out of it. And maybe you could tell something about that, about the process and how we, how you could learn something and get a better
Yeah to Sure I wrote the book because I learned that confidence is a skill that you can learn. And it’s, again, it’s not something, you know, I used to just like comparing herself. Right. I used to think like, Oh, they’re so confident and they have it all. And I, I don’t. Right. And so I thought, okay, that’s it.
You know, I I’m just, you know, I’m a, nobody I’m not good enough. And so I, started digging into it and studying it and learning. And what I found is that. Especially through all the interviews is that there’s a common theme and they all said, I wasn’t born with confidence. I had to step out of my comfort zone.
I had to learn, I had to grow my confidence. And for me, I also learned in, and that’s the message I’m giving in book is that. And I’m giving you 11 hacks of how to actually grow your confidence because I’ve been through all of that. Like, like I said, I didn’t have confidence. I felt like I’m not good enough.
I didn’t speak up in the class. I wasn’t a backup because I was afraid of what people would think of me. I was afraid to say something, even as an adult in a meeting at, at corporate, you know, like, Ooh, what if I ask a dumb question? Everybody’s got to laugh at me. Like I was so like, really? I had no confidence and yeah, shy and introvert.
And I know. People have a hard time believing that because I’m doing YouTube, I’m doing speaking, I’m doing all of this, but I do this because I have a message to share. But in the end of the day, I’m still an introvert. I love being on my own. I spent Christmas alone. I love it. I’m behind my computer doing my admin.
I loved it. That was my Christmas day. And I’m not afraid of saying that I love it. I don’t have family in this country. So yeah, this is me and I’m all, you know, or I’m traveling on my own. So again, that’s another topic because I think. Being alone is just, it has a lot of benefits. You know, you shouldn’t be alone and lonely.
I just did a video on that on YouTube as well. But anyway, so going back to, um, confidence, I learned that all of these people, you know, Again, a lot of them appear confident doesn’t mean that if you appear confident, you’re all that confident within that’s one thing that you have to remember. The other thing is that they had to learn to grow the skill.
It’s just like, I always say it’s like going to the gym. You don’t go to the gym once. Come out like all muscled and toned after one, one session at the gym. No, you have to go back and back and back and you have to take action over and over and over. And it’s the same thing with confidence, right? So you have to step out of your comfort zone over and over and over, right.
Until you feel comfortable. And that’s how you boost your confidence. Like you’re first. Your first podcast. It was like, Oh my gosh, it’s so scary. And this and that, and I’m struggling. And, um, you know, maybe you spend like hours doing for one episode and then you edit it a million times, you know, to get one episode, but then you get better and better, a better.
And your, your confidence is growing into doing podcasts, right? It’s thinking when you go to school the first time you step onto the plane, the first time, the first time it’s scary. But you overcome that fear and you get confident and more and more confident. So with everything that you want to do, like, do you want to stand on a stage for public speaking then, you know, the way I started, like, do it first in front of the mirror, then you do it in front of one person.
Then in front of two friends, then in front of you. 10 people. And then, you know, you grow like that and you get more and more confident. It’s like being afraid of Heights. You know, you go onto the first floor of a building, look outside, it’s all terrifying and scary. You know, you’re afraid of elevator afraid of, you know, but you’re not gonna, it’s like, it’s like this mountain, right.
You know, you want to reach the top, but the top is way too far. It’s way too scary. But if you break it down into small steps and you climb the Hill, Then it’s doable, right? And every time you climb a Hill, you boost your confidence. Right, but nothing will happen if you don’t do anything. Okay. So the, just to summarize a few really important hacks to grow your confidence, it’s, it’s that taking small steps all the time.
It’s to step out of your comfort zone, small bits all the time. It’s to overcome your fear by doing that, like really challenge it and shake hands with your fear and go towards it. And don’t just sit back. And one big, big, big one is also. Surround yourself with the right people. That’s a huge confidence hack.
What I mean by that is that when I was surrounded by the people like, especially family, I did, I did, I did video. I need to, I need to show you need to look it up, but it’s like the crab, the crab mentality. It’s a video I have on my YouTube and it’s, um, you know, you know how to catch crabs. Daniel. They, they put all the crap in a bucket and they don’t put a lid.
They don’t put a lid on the bucket, you know, why.
You know what they don’t the lid on the bucket and the craps will not escape the bucket because it’s to crap mentality and to crap family. What they do is with one grab, tries to climb out of the bucket and tries to escape the bucket. Then the rest of the crabs and the family, they’re like, they pulled them back, like, stay here.
We’re not escaping. So you’re not escaping either. Right. So we’re not, you know, we’re stuck so you are, you stay stuck too. So, and that’s what happens alongside with your loved ones and your family. This, they keep you stuck because they love you. They love you. And they want to keep you safe. Like stay here in this bucket.
It’s safe here. Stay here in your comfort zone is safe here. But if you want to change something, you need to step out. You need to escape from that bucket. And that means surround yourself by people who motivate you, who inspire you, who push you right.
Yeah, it does
When I was surrounding myself with other public speakers.
And when I wanted to write a book, I started talking to authors. When I wanted to do a TEDx doc, I started to talk with TEDx, talkers and speakers. When I wanted to create my website, I was looking for other people, you know, when I went to travel the world and be a laptop lifestyle, I started to talking to those girls.
So always like. What you want to achieve who and surround yourself with those people, you know, that’s, that’s what will push you if I would talk to my mom everyday, all day, I would say so stuck. You have no, I love my mom to bed, but she’s like, no, no, no, stay safe. Stay, stay. Don’t do anything. Right. So, yeah, it’s super
you need to share the link with me so that I can put it on the show
notes okay… I will. Yeah. It’s it’s, it’s a really fun video. Yeah.